The best thing about having conversations with our partners is getting to learn more about them. ![]() Rather than listening to build your own defense, focus on listening to your partner to learn about them. This is an incredibly bad practice when you’re having a conversation with your partner. In a debate, you aren’t really listening to your “opponent” as much as you are looking for queues and opportunities to get your side of the argument in. While debate classes in school may help us have interesting conversations that explore different topics and perspectives, they can really do us a disservice if we begin to apply that debate structure to any conversation. Also, leaning forward can help show that you are actively listening to them - think about a kid listening to a story, they make themselves closer to the speaker when they are interested. To do this, make sure you are looking at your partner and facing them with your body. What you want to do is show your partner that you care about what they are saying and you care about them and their concerns. For example, if I’m talking to my partner about something that has been bothering me and they’re facing away from me and looking around the room at other things, I’m not going to feel listened to. It is important to take note of how your partner is sitting and what their body language is saying because this can help you to better understand their feelings.Īs for your own body language, you want to make sure that your partner sees that you are listening to them. Now, this particular tip applies to not only your partner’s body language but also your own. So, without further ado, here are a few extremely important tips that you can use to become a better listener in your relationship or marriage. Whether you’re a good listener already or you know you’ve got a good way to go on that front, we can all get better at listening to our partners. To focus all of our attention on them for a moment and make sure that they feel they are getting the committed engagement that they need to feel supported. We can all always work harder to make our partners feel heard and understood. The truth is, whether or not you think you are a good listener already is irrelevant - we can all always become better listeners. ![]() Were you watching the TV in the background? Scrolling through your social media feeds? Doing dishes? Playing a game? But is that actually true? Think about the last time you had a conversation with your partner. If asked, most people would consider themselves good listeners.
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